she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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