dude i'm inner monologue high
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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