I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
