Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
