I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
