Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
