11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
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