I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
