my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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