Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
