I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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