is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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