i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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