He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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