And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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