dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
