I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
