Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize