somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize