She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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