am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
