you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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