Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
