I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
