Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
