Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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