No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Use "feeling words"
Yay
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
