OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
