He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
