My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
