I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
