Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just google imaged poop.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
