Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My ass is underappreciated
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
