Well apparently he's into motor boating.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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