i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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