Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
