dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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