The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
