At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
