just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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