it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
