I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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