just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
