Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
