Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
