shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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