i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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