I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
