this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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