Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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