Welp...herpes.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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