So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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