Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Alive.
So much puke
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
