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• (323): View more from California

  I'm being pulled over???

  (520): View more from Arizona

  For what!?!?!

  (323): View more from California

  ??? I'm in a cab!!!!!

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.

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• (936): View more from Texas

  You can't call dibs 8 years later.

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• (818): View more from California

  That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth

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• (559): View more from California

  And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That's right. I did.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That's right. I did.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad

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• (650): View more from California

  And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.

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• (650): View more from California

  Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter

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