I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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