Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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