Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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