But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
