when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
