Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
