I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Even my vagina gasped.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
