Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
