Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
